Worship is always a choice?  Really?  Can we all find a way to connect with God even when times are difficult?  What about when all feels in despair and you can’t feel yourself connected to God? What about that?

 “Parker Palmer calls it the Dark Night of the Soul and has written about it often.  Parker J. Palmer is a Quaker writer and speaker known for his work on leadership and social change. He often references the “dark night of the soul” as a period of profound spiritual and existential questioning, a time of darkness before potential transformation and renewal. Palmer uses the phrase “dark night of the soul” to describe a period of intense questioning, doubt, and even despair that can be a necessary precursor to growth and deeper meaning. He emphasizes that this “dark night” is not an end, but rather a vessel where individuals can confront their deepest fears and insecurities and ultimately emerge with a renewed sense of purpose and authenticity. Palmer encourages individuals to embrace the vulnerability and honesty that often accompany this period, suggesting that it is through facing the darkness that one can find the light. Palmer’s message is one of hope and resilience, urging individuals to find meaning and purpose even in the darkest of times. “ (information off the web on Parker Palmer and the Dark Night of the Soul)

          That’s not all my writing.  Trying to explain how to use the bad times to find good is almost impossible to write about but even harder to explain.  Bad times happen.  God never leaves us no matter how it feels.  The example used to the cliché is that God is like the sun, still shining on the other side of the world at night, still brilliant, still warming earth.   But how do we know when it is dark for us?  Our reality is darkness. Do we trust what we see in reality or do we just have faith? Where does faith begin and stupidity end or visa versa?

Steve Leder, a Rabbi, writes in his book “More Beautiful than Before: How Suffering Transforms Us,” about the sage wisdom of Shannon L. Alder who says “The goal for most people should not be to feel better but to get better at feeling.”  The hurting will not go away, the bad time may can be problem-solved, but it can also open us up to change.  When a congregant asked Leder why the Bible many times refers to God laying words on the heart rather than in them, he reminds him that the words don’t stay there laid upon the heart.  The heart breaks and the words fall in.  That is how sometimes we are spoken to by God or Spirit or that thing that is bigger than us, bigger than our problems and bigger than the world the problems are in.  We have that  privilege to communicate with that Being.   Leder also reminds that  it is not God who makes injustice, or disease, or anything that is not love.  But God is all around blessing us, even in the difficult times, and we have to remind ourselves of this when God feels far away.

When I was in the hospital with my throat closed up and unable to breathe and swallow, I found I had the kindest nurses, competent doctors, and great support staff, so I could relax and praise God for the good tings all around and trust that the best outcome would happen. I found a way to worship and listen for God’s voice even during the scary and difficult times.

Sometimes we have to look hard for the good in the bad times.  Do not use the good as a distraction but as a reminder that good is still happening around us.  Matt and Beth Redman in Finding God in the Hard Times write about the problems we have in traveling when we feed conflicting senses to the brain.  We are in a car that is going the right but a fast speed while we look down at a still book, we can get car sick. The brain does not know whether to say it is still or whether it is moving at a high rate of speed. But they remind that one can lower the window and feel the breeze on your hand to let the brain know it is receiving the correct signal , and the nausea will dissipate. Sometimes when we are spiritually car sick, when bad things happen, we have to search for ways to remind ourselves that there is a world of good.

As our nation becomes more authoritarian our institutions that held our stories of history are being changed.  Let us never forget the Holocaust. Jews, Roma and Sinti (Gypsies), Poles, Slavs, Soviet prisoners of war, people with disabilities, political opponents, communists and trade unionists, Jehovah’s Witnesses, homosexuals and countless others were stripped of their rights, imprisoned, forced into slave labor and killed in vast numbers. Those who defied Nazi authority either through individual or organized resistance also faced imprisonment, torture, forced labor and execution.   But there are stories that the survivors told about the courage that was shown in the encampments and the examples of kindness and encouragement that kept so many alive while they watched the destruction of their country and their family and friends.  It takes looking intently for these small reflections of God.

Even the prophet, Elijah had a hard time hearing the voice of God during his bad time.   The story goes in 1 Kings 19:11-13 that the Lord said to Elijah, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.  Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

It’s that gentle whisper we have to listen for because it probably is there in the high winds of life.  It probably is there in the earth shaking times of turmoil.  It probably is just hidden by the sound of the raging fire, but there are times we have to go into our caves, center down and listen.  Don’t give up.  God is there.  Look closely and you will find evidence of God’s ever-present love.