Living a Basic Life of Principles and Values

1/12/25

Good morning!

While Joe and I were on vacation, his parents treated us to a tour of the Alden B. Dow house in Midland Michigan where they live.  Joe’s dad worked most of his life for Dow Chemical there in Midland. Dow Chemical is named for Alden B. Dow’s father, industrialist Herbert Dow, the founder.  There are Dow everythings in the town.  Dow Gardens were started as a hobby by Herbert Dow in 1899. The gardens were developed into a botanical garden by this son, Alden, and opened to the public in the 1970s. The Minor League baseball stadium that’s home to the Great Lakes Loons is named after Dow’s logo, a red diamond, and the slang term for a baseball field. The Dow Chemical Company donated the land for the stadium and purchased the naming rights.  One of the things we talked about a bit with Joe’s parents during the vacation was the planned destruction of the old high school in 2025, even though it is in functional condition.  Guess its name — Yes, you are right, Herbert Henry Dow which opened in 1968 to relieve overcrowding at Midland High School.  Both are set for destruction. We don’t know what the new unified high school will be called, but there is a good guess. 

But Alden Dow was not an industrialist like his father, nor did he seek wealth through the family business.  He was an architect who studied under Frank Lloyd Wright.  And he came up with his own philosophy of life that he used in the way he ran his business, his personal life and his family life.  He designed a midcentury modern home that also housed his workplace where other architects and draftsmen worked creatively in an open-air situation where they were encouraged to critique on and collaborate with each other’s designs for homes and other structures.  In the boardroom was a large circle-like poster that had on the circle in different colored clouds the words: Individualism, doing and thinking, creativity, facts and feelings, honesty, humility and enthusiasm, new expressions, appreciation and finer standards.  He said that he didn’t want to be known as an architect, even though he was one of the world’s renowned.  He wanted to be known by his philosophy and as such, a philosopher.  He particularly focused on creativity, and his testimonies of honest, humility and enthusiasm. He called this circle of different aspects of his philosophy his “Way of Life.” The Way of Life Cycle is the culmination of over 40 years of developing and refining his philosophy. This philosophy was not just words on a piece of paper used to impress and delight those who read it. These are words he lived by; they defined him, his actions and his work.

So what defines you?  And what word or set of words will define this year of 2025?  What is your philosophy of living?

A philosophy of living is very important.  Like with Alden B. Dow, philosophies of living set the parameters for the decisions that we make, our attitudes, and our reactions to events in our lives.  They develop, mature and evolve over time, but they help to define our values and prioritize what is important for us to do in our lives.  They also help with our relationships and help define the way we treat people.

If we don’t have a philosophy of life we may sway with the winds of change.  Two good examples in old movies include Jenny in Forrest Gump and Annelle Dupuy Desoto in Steel Magnolias.  Yes, I do watch movies not set in the south, but if you remember these two women characters, they both tried every trend to become a part of and to belong to fit in with those around them rather than having their own philosophy of life.  Jenny in the first Forrest Gump movie went as far as being a stripper and almost committing suicide while on drugs. She joined the Black Panthers and other militant groups. In the movie Steel Magnolias, Annelle is not even sure her marriage is valid as the movie begins, but as she finds herself in a group of friends, she begins to find herself.  She tries different kinds of Christianity and has moveable stances on alcohol consumption and dressing in style. So you can see with the two of their characters that choosing a support system that goes with your values is very important in knowing who you are and what you will and won’t do.  Having your own philosophy of life helps you feel secure without demanding that you belong to any one group in order to matter.  It doesn’t demand other people belong to your group or think like you do either.  Many times, we think we know what we will do in a certain situation until we get in that situation ourselves, then suddenly it has levels and nuances we never considered before. Judging others and telling other people how to handle their lives is a dangerous situation to place ourselves in. It goes back to Dow’s premise that we begin to see ourselves as unique individuals, but it is important not just in the things we do, but as sacred human beings in a sacred world that needs our help and protection. When we do seek groups to belong to, it is important to be discerning – “Does it go with my values?  Is this in line with my purpose in life?  How does this fit my priorities?”  Asking ourselves these three questions helps us to know what decisions to make and what groups to depend on.  That is a way of life.  It helps us not to be defined by our needs and wants but by our choices and our character. I will repeat these questions: “Does it go with my values?  Is this in line with my purpose in life?  How does this fit my priorities?” 

It is suggested that even before we define our personal philosophy of life, we evaluate our strengths and our values. When it comes to our conduct, it’s equally crucial to identify our strengths. Concentrate on the precise ideals that help you become a better leader and impact on your decisions. Make a note of previous successes and failures if it helps. 

As Quakers we sometimes use our “SPICES” to make decisions –  we are taught to query ourselves.  Is it simple, or will it make my life less complex? 

But our SPICES are how we candle things, how we determine if our choices align with our values.  That is the first step to creating a philosophy of life.   We also have to set priorities and find a purpose for your life to help build character. A philosophy of life gives us the parameters on which to build a life of character and principles.  Notice how an architect thought that having a life statement or purpose of life was the important foundation onto which all other choices in our lives can be based.  We need to ask many questions of ourselves to choose a philosophy of life that we are proud of and that serves the greater good of the world. 

It is important to have integrity because it is easy to create a shadow side of ourselves that defies our character if we aren’t self aware and hold ourselves accountable.  Having a philosophy of life helps us to evaluate what might need to be changed or transformed?  It is a foundation for us to build on, but it is able to be adapted and adjusted as we become more mature, wise and experienced.  It took Aldon Dow 40 years to come up with that statement that Jeanette read, and it morphed over time.  So let’s think about our lives’ motto.  What principles do we live by? Does this need to improve?  Is there enough compassion, grace and forgiveness guiding our decisions?  Does it show compassion, grace and forgiveness to ourselves as well as others? Are we the owner of high principles? Do we live by those principles? How do we hold ourselves accountable?  How aware are you of yourself?  How can we be loving and understanding of others who have antithetical life statements?

These questions as we probe our heads for answers need to come from our hearts and what we know about our souls and how it relates to the values and principles we choose to live by.

We always want on a soul level for all actions and attitudes to be guided by Spirit and by leadings from Spirit.  But rarely if ever will we be led to do or say something that defies our philosophy of life.  Most of the time, making decisions are based in values and priorities.  We were once known as having Quaker sensibilities in our Quaker history.  So we don’t have to grasp beyond our reach in order to live a principled life.  We can be simple with our values and principles just like we are taught to be simple with the rest of our lives. Making big elaborate plans might boost our egos, but most of the time God leads when we are the best that we can be in whatever role we already have.  Instead of searching for new roles, how can you be the best friend, employee, grandparent, or the best partner that we are capable of being?  At base value, the simple principles of truth and integrity are generally what will sustain us spiritually in the long term.

Becoming a person of character and principle helps to define choices and gives clarity during times that might leave others more confused.  Being prayerful and reflective are ways of life that can be worked into a philosophy of life or that form the underpinning of the way the rest of our lives operates. 

Do we have integrity? One of the meanings of integrity is that we are living in line with our philosophy of life.  With integrity, we are what we think we are and what people think we are because they have witnessed us make choices.

Does that mean that gossip doesn’t happen?  It does happen, but living your values and you principles helps to squash gossip because with time, people are able to get to know you and realize it is not true. When I was a preacher’s kid, it was frequent for there to be gossip. I learned early on that when gossip gets bad about me or if I get criticized for something I wasn’t doing, I learned being defensive rarely works. But I tended to try and stick with whatever it is that I am doing and let my character speak the truth.  I am not perfect, nowhere near it.  So I am still working on defining my way of life as I grow and become more aware.  So our ways of life help us to grow and they are not stagnant but flexible with time as we learn better ways and deeper values.

But some values and principles are lifelong.  Some people seem to find the answer early on, like former President Jimmy Carter.  I heard gossip about him when he was in office, but with time, even though it lost him the presidential election after his first time in office, in time people realized that he was a person ruled by values and guided by principles until the day he died.  We may not be famous or known around the world for our peace efforts like Jimmy Carter, but we can be known around the community for our kindness or dependability. 

Query: What are the basic values and principles that you live by?